05 December 2003

I see that Sir Paul McCartney is once again attempting to re-write the history books by 'donating' a half-arsed 12 inch track from 1980 to New Religion Records for their new compilation "A Secret History". This otherwise admirable CD compiles a few lesser-known synthpop ditties from the likes of Visage, Telex, Throbbing Gristle and Liaison Dangerous. The inclusion of Macca's "Temporary Secretary" is just another example of his need to ingratiate himself with the kids by muscling in on a genre which he clearly has no influence on whatsoever. We've all read his claims that he was the true visionary in the Beatles, how he was involved with the Radiophonic Workshop and other 'happening' electronic artists of the '60s, how he almost got Delia Derbyshire to create the music for "Yesterday" (seriously, folks!), but when you start claiming electropop-pioneer status you step into Gutterbreakz territory, mutherfucker, and I won't have it!
Described by Record Collector's Jake Kennedy as "what the White Album would've sounded like if it had been recorded in 1980", "Temporary Secretary" is in fact a piss-poor throwaway with a few bleeps thrown in. Compare it with, say, Robert Palmer's electro excursion "Looking For Clues" from around the same time and you'll see just how poorly-executed this arse-wipe of a tune really is.
Maybe I'm just down on Macca right now 'cause I heard a bit of "Let It Be....Naked" in Virgin the other day and thought it sounded shit, even worse than the Spector version, if that's possible. Let's be honest, "Let It Be" was always the worst Beatles album by a mile and this new version does nothing to dispel that fact, no matter how much Macca tries to convince us otherwise.
Don't get me wrong, I think he did a few half-decent tunes in his time (though that time was clearly over by 1980) and I even had to concede to my Macca-loving pal Aaron that "Goodnight Tonight" was actually a lot better than I remembered, but I'm just getting very tired of Sir Paul's pathological urge to ram his continuing 'relevance' down our necks.

Damn you, sir.